Mami today you are in my thoughts. You are here. Wondering where you are and where you went and why you were taken from me so quickly. I never thought or will ever think that you were ready to die when you were so very full of life and desire to live. Maybe I had to learn a lesson, maybe we all had to learn a lesson from your passing. Maybe I had to find myself totally alone to move on with my life. Regardless of the reason mami, I miss you terribly.
Mario's children lost their maternal grandmother last night and I thought what a coincidence that Dustin lost you, his maternal grandmother on the same month last year and did not get to experience it. Maybe it was best for him, but definitely not for me to feel your loss alone, without any family members close after she died except Ginette on that dreadful morning that I had to go see you. Your skin was so beautiful and perfect. You did not have a wrinkle in your face. Oh! Your nails had been done the previous week and they also were perfect, it made me happy to see them.
Then when I was sitting at the crematory facing one of the most awful experiences of my life with my neighbor Debbie, I thought about your nails and how none of that mattered anymore... as the lady explained the procedure, I thought again about your nails and how I would get them back in the form of ashes, but not pink or pretty ... just gray!
I miss you today... I miss you many days... The other day I found a photo of you with "el panadero" that came selling through Atlas Street with the aluminum cart. You look so full of life. I will scan that photo and then post it here, maybe later today.
Love you mami, and wanted to let you know that I learned how to make "arroz con leche" just like you cooked it for me, because I asked for your help and you just showed me and before that I had burnt so so many of them. Yes, me the wonderful experienced cook, burnt it!
So I know you are somewhere out there...
Mario's children lost their maternal grandmother last night and I thought what a coincidence that Dustin lost you, his maternal grandmother on the same month last year and did not get to experience it. Maybe it was best for him, but definitely not for me to feel your loss alone, without any family members close after she died except Ginette on that dreadful morning that I had to go see you. Your skin was so beautiful and perfect. You did not have a wrinkle in your face. Oh! Your nails had been done the previous week and they also were perfect, it made me happy to see them.
Then when I was sitting at the crematory facing one of the most awful experiences of my life with my neighbor Debbie, I thought about your nails and how none of that mattered anymore... as the lady explained the procedure, I thought again about your nails and how I would get them back in the form of ashes, but not pink or pretty ... just gray!
I miss you today... I miss you many days... The other day I found a photo of you with "el panadero" that came selling through Atlas Street with the aluminum cart. You look so full of life. I will scan that photo and then post it here, maybe later today.
Love you mami, and wanted to let you know that I learned how to make "arroz con leche" just like you cooked it for me, because I asked for your help and you just showed me and before that I had burnt so so many of them. Yes, me the wonderful experienced cook, burnt it!
So I know you are somewhere out there...
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