As the sun moves west warming the apartment and my total being. Thinking about the next to distant future -- say 15 more years and what then? Where to go? What direction will life or I take me? Should I go to Puerto Rico to La Parguera with the rest of my tribe... they already have a space reserved for me, or should I go to Asheville, NC or wherever that place may be. The tabula rasa is empty in that section. If I get to stay at the firm at least until the housing crises is over then maybe the plan will be more feasible and attainable. The firm is offering voluntary retirement to people that have been in the firm for over 5 years. Do to the unstable job market it is not advisable to take the retirement pay off.
Last night and this morning I woke up with the premonition that something was wrong with my son and that he needed to get out of the current situation. Silently and then verbally I told God that he was to carry him if necessary to wellness. My son choses a different way of life and at times there is a sudden jolt and I am stopped and he comes to my mind. I turn it over to my higher power and let it go. It happened twice in the last 24 hours. Those are motherhood moments. The chakras that feel it the most are the heart chakra, the life chakra, and the solar plexus chakra. It is the fear that if not stopped on its tracks develops and affects the body as well as the balance of my spirit.
But last night and today I have devoted the time to being loving and sensuous with me... as if someone walked in and served me breakfast in bed with fresh fruit, griddle grilled swiss cheese sandwich with mustard... swiss cheese was pouring out of it, AltoGrande puertorican coffee, my laptop, burned some oil in my spa bath, candles all over the house to bring soft sweet scents to my surroundings... loving myself... warming and lighting up my soul. I said YES to life and I say YES to life NOW! I am feeling deep butterflies in my chakras, my mind, my body are feeling this beautiful energy. I would self-destruct if it wasn't this smooth tingling electricity running through and around my body feels the way it feels. It is like a soft sheet softly traveling in space and so very softly touching my skin... Even a small round purple seedless grape feels special to eat and against my lips. It is a state of bliss. If you feel it, good for you and please do not judge me.
Someone said to me today that these feelings are what keep us alive. I agree that they are the essence of life. Life throws us many curve balls and we just have to make sure one does not knock us down. Stay on our toes. And when these feelings surface feel intensely the bliss and be thankful for same. And so it is... or not...
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