Thursday, December 31, 2009

On Pain ... Kahlil Gibran


Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity: For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

On Children... Kahlil Gibran

Marianna, Kahlil's Sister. Painting by Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you,And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls,For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
***
Dear Kahlil:
This sounds all very good yet so so very hard to attain. When the arrows are twisted they will not fly no matter how hard the archer bends the arch...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Lovers ... by Pablo Picasso


"Up to the point when they merged, two lovers walked separate paths. Together they create a new path that has no past, where every step moves into the unknown, and no amount of experience can light the way."

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8


For everything there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Brother David Steindl-Rast on Happiness...


Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more.

Walter Anderson on Sadness


I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

New Years Resolution!

I want to talk less, think more, and put my feet up in the air just like this photo. By talking less I hope to be more in tune with my universe and more in tune with myself.

On Gratitude... Melody Beattie


“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie

Monday, December 21, 2009

On Talking ... Kahlil Gibran

You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts;And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips, and sound is a diversion and a pastime.And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered.For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly.

There are those among you who seek the talkative through fear of being alone.The silence of aloneness reveals to their eyes their naked selves and they would escape.And there are those who talk, and without knowledge or forethought reveal a truth which they themselves do not understand.And there are those who have the truth within them, but they tell it not in words.In the bosom of such as these the spirit dwells in rhythmic silence.

When you meet your friend on the roadside or in the market place, let the spirit in you move your lips and direct your tongue.Let the voice within your voice speak to the ear of his ear;For his soul will keep the truth of your heart as the taste of the wine is rememberedWhen the colour is forgotten and the vessel is no more.

On pleasure... Kahlil Gibran

Pleasure is a freedom-song, But it is not freedom.It is the blossoming of your desires,But it is not their fruit.It is a depth calling unto a height, But it is not the deep nor the high. It is the caged taking wing,But it is not space encompassed.Ay, in very truth, pleasure is a freedomsong.And I fain would have you sing it with fullness of heart; yet I would not have you lose your hearts in the singing.

Some of your youth seek pleasure as if it were all, and they are judged and rebuked.I would not judge nor rebuke them. I would have them seek.For they shall find pleasure, but not her alone;Seven are her sisters, and the least of them is more beautiful than pleasure.Have you not heard of the man who was digging in the earth for roots and found a treasure?

And some of your elders remember pleasures with regret like wrongs committed in drunkenness.But regret is the beclouding of the mind and not its chastisement.They should remember their pleasures with gratitude, as they would the harvest of a summer.Yet if it comforts them to regret, let them be comforted.

And there are among you those who are neither young to seek nor old to remember;And in their fear of seeking and remembering they shun all pleasures, lest they neglect the spirit or offend against it.But even in their foregoing is their pleasure.And thus they too find a treasure though they dig for roots with quivering hands.But tell me, who is he that can offend the spirit?Shall the nightingale offend the stillness of the night, or the firefly the stars?And shall your flame or your smoke burden the wind?Think you the spirit is a still pool which you can trouble with a staff?

Oftentimes in denying yourself pleasure you do but store the desire in the recesses of your being.Who knows but that which seems omitted today, waits for tomorrow?Even your body knows its heritage and its rightful need and will not be deceived.And your body is the harp of your soul,And it is yours to bring forth sweet music from it or confused sounds.

And now you ask in your heart, "How shall we distinguish that which is good in pleasure from that which is not good?"Go to your fields and your gardens, and you shall learn that it is the pleasure of the bee to gather honey of the flower,But it is also the pleasure of the flower to yield its honey to the bee.For to the bee a flower is a fountain of life,And to the flower a bee is a messenger of love,And to both, bee and flower, the giving and the receiving of pleasure is a need and an ecstasy.

People of Orphalese, be in your pleasures like the flowers and the bees.

On your Children... Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.They come through you but not from you,And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts.You may house their bodies but not their souls,For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your childrenas living arrows are sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Pain by Kahlil Gibran

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

On Joy and Sorrow by Kahlil Gibran

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.And how else can it be?The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."But I say unto you, they are inseparable.Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Forgive... Today, in this moment, I forgive.


Just thought I would share this thought, especially during this holiday season when we may be resenting someone in our lives. Maybe you can reconsider and let go...

Forgive

Today, in this moment, I forgive.

Great joy and satisfaction come from expressing love, compassion and generosity. Since I cannot fully express these qualities while holding resentment against another, I strengthen my spiritual practice through forgiveness.

I choose to forgive anyone whose actions seemed to cause me pain or fear. I forgive those whom I thought to be adversaries. I forgive family members, friends or coworkers for any perceived failings or mistakes. And I forgive myself. I leave the past where it belongs and create life anew.

Seeing beyond personality, beyond outward appearance to the true divine spirit within myself and others, I release judgment and forgive. Now I can truly love.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

DEBORAH... great Andy Warhol like illustration


My best friend did this with my photo. He is doing it for anyone who is interested. I am going to blow this one up at Kinkos and have it properly framed or on a board and put it in my bedroom. Nice. Made me feel special! Do it for a loved one for the holidays or for yourself. You will feel good about the end product. Mario is very good! He had done a few of mine and I always turn out better than Liz Taylor in her better days. Email him from his website at www.mariopierni.com He can also restore old photos and do any photoshoping according to your needs.


Friday, December 11, 2009

La Caja Asadora... only in Miami!

I had to share this with all of you out there. I was going through my junk mail and I found this sale at Navarro Discount Pharmacies. La Caja Asadora... a device used by hyspanics to roast their holiday pig! I have never, ever seen one of these and especially not in a drugstore!

TYPICAL PUERTO RICAN MEDICAL DISORDERS...

TYPICAL PUERTO RICAN MEDICAL DISORDERS (still being studied by the American Medical Association)

Monga: Mysterious body temperature, not high enough to be considered fever, but serious enough to miss school and work. Illness is unknown by the American Medical Association (AMA) and only understood by doctors of Puerto Rican origin.

Patatú: Attack of obscure origin that can strike at any time. Could be serious enough to require hospitalization, yet is undetected by medical technology. Victims tend to be males and females over the age of 50 years.

Sereno: Occurs when someone steps outdoors suddenly at night and is sprinkled by a mysterious substance produced by the night air. There are no physical symptoms and it can only be detected by the Puerto Rican elderly. The effect of having this disease is unknown. Children must not be taken out at night without proper head gear or risk of contamination is certain.

Empache: Digestive disorder which occurs after the consumption of a large Puerto Rican meal.

Cuerpo Corta'o: Frequent and mild condition of unknown etymology. Symptoms include-- but are not limited to-- fatigue, lack of energy and chronic whining.

Moño Para'o: Psychological imbalance of short duration that causes strange mood swings, violent irritating behavior as well as general unpleasantness.

Cocotazo: A clenched hand/closed cripple! Caused by left or right fingers flexed to not quite make a fist with middle finger slightly raised higher than the rest and delivered to a child's head with a quick snap to the wrist (my father's favorite).

Chichón: Elevated cranial protrusion usually caused by the fall after a "patatú". Can also be caused by the sudden or unexpected encounter with a "cocotazo".

Dolor de Hijá: Severe pain endured by Puerto Rican women caused by "Doña Juana", who visits them for every month for a few days.

Mal de Amores: Feelings of extreme happiness and incessant talking about a new sweetheart.

Enchulamiento: Possible mental condition that doesn't allow Puerto Ricans to think straight when they are too "enamora'os" (head over heels).

Churras: Extreme, acid diarrhea that leaves the "exhaust pipe" on fire.

Ventosedá: Term used by old time puertorrican grandmas to describe pain and discomfort caused by flatulence, so bad that gases couldn't come out. This could only be cured by the "sobadora" (some neighbor who specialized in rubbing the belly with oil while reciting prayers to the saints.) These ladies also helped with "empachos".

Would Your Remarry? ... funny!

Subject: Would You Remarry?
.
A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks a bold question.
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "Shit."

Sunday, December 6, 2009

A moment (morning) of zen!


I found the love of my life and in doing so I am discovering myself. Love is a very serious business and one to be taken lightly but yet seriously, softly and gentle yet hard and stern, yes it is what I have been thinking about all morning a yin and a yang. But then I thought it did not matter whom the yin came from or the yang. We all have strong masculine and feminine sides and the predominant one would determine the yin or the yang not the actual gender.


Temperature in Miami absolutely marvelous at 60 degrees. Oh yes, it is beautiful morning to go walk on the beach and so I did. I took my body to the waters of the Atlantic and felt the wind blowing through my hair. I walked slow but purposely. Life returned to my soul.


Waking up at 5:30 am has its privileges. Your day is so much longer. You write, you exercise, you medidate, and you get it all done by 9 am. The writing sometimes takes longer because of the downloading of photos.

... these boots my yin or my yang?



Two women were walking down Rock Creek Park and discovered that Xmas was approaching fast and that were not feeling the holiday spirit. One said to the other as she bumped her intentionally on the shoulder: "You be my yin and I will be your yang!"

Without saying another word, they understood the struggles between the sexes, salt and sugar, oil and water, the sun and the moon, mars and venus....

This is about the balance that we need in our lives.

In my life the boots will give me balance and a smile. I will take a photo with them on and you tell me if I found my yin and my yang in balance. With this thought I leave you... Find your balance...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My baby is gone... and I miss him!




Anybody out there feel like I feel... Life giveth and life taketh! But there is love and balance in both.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thank you for being in my life...

November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving from my perspective...

One of the things I am thankful for are my herbs and here is my mint plant in all its splendor. Since love has been in this household, the herbs have been really happy!

November 26, 2009

Thank you all for your warm welcome into this small (what I call in my creative brain) department of my life. Some feel at times that I share more than I should and that it is too personal. I care to offer my sentiments and my life in my process and journey. I care to be real and offer to you what passes through my mind and how my soul is affected in the process. I care to give you my reality from my perspective, of course. I care to grow, develop, and understand myself clearly as I write. I wish to see you as you experience my transformation into a butterfly. I care for you to feel my pain and by doing so understand me better. I care for you to feel my joy and excitement. I care that you feel the mother in me. I care to share with you my challenge of “balance” in my life. I care to share with you that I am in a stage in my life that Depra Chopra’s 7 Rules of Spirituality have a very needed revisit. I care to share with you that I am proud that those tools are so very present and at my reach.

The first Rule I believe is the power of pure potentiality. I will listen to the cassette (yes I am dated), to recall this one. It will take one time and it will all come back. Studied this book at the very challenging time in my life and I succeeded in “coming out of the dark” as Gloria Esteban sings in her song. We all go through dark moments. Some longer than others. We all have our “demons” that either control our lives or not. But all in all we are all OK! We are a compilation of thoughts recorded in our brain, that frame who we are. When we understand where our thoughts and our reactions come from then we can see that we are in a different time and space and changing as the clouds in the sky and we can make peace within..

Philosophical this morning?. Yes, the world is my playground. Have been playing in the kitchen and back to it I shall return. Cooking to share with my loved ones. That is something I enjoy doing.
Did not sleep very much but life is good and as painful as it is, I will have to hear people ask me about my son. I will have to see families together and miss him. I do have blessings, I have my baby and he will be with me and that makes it all worthwhile. For these few things, I am thankful.

I humbly wish to thank you all for being in my life. You have touched it somehow and you are all welcome. We all had a path that led us to our encounter. We all traced a moment together in this existence. That will never change. Thank you for your lessons and for your support. Thank you for your patience when I wrote words that were not quite of your liking or you did not agree.

Have a wonderful and thankful experience today! Pray for the American Indians and every group of people that has been abused by others who feel they are a superior class.



Kids Reenact The First Thanksgiving

Babelgum: Kids Reenact The First Thanksgiving

This video is something to think about. Watch it.

Always have been upset with what happened to the American Indians. Today I will not celebrate the thanksgiving with its original flavor. It will be special.

I thank my universe for my life, my job, my boyfriend and all the wonderful things that I share with you that I love, my herb garden, my beautiful apartment and view and my family.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Slaying of a gay teen in Puerto Rico




Suspect charged with murder in slaying of gay teen in Puerto Rico

Police say the body of Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado, 19, had been decapitated, dismembered and partially burned.

STORY HIGHLIGHTS
NEW: Juan A. Martinez Matos was charged Monday in connection with the slaying
Steven Lopez Mercado had been decapitated, dismembered, partially burned
Prosecutors are weighing whether to employ hate crimes provision.

Hate Crimes
cnnRelatedTopicKeys.push('Puerto_Rico');

Puerto Rico
cnnRelatedTopicKeys.push('Murder_and_Homicide');

Murder and Homicide
San Juan, Puerto Rico (CNN) -- The suspect in the brutal slaying of a gay teenager in Puerto Rico was charged Wednesday with first-degree murder and four other counts, the prosecutor in the case told CNN.
Juan A. Martinez Matos was arrested late Monday in connection with the slaying of Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado, whose decapitated, dismembered and partially burned body was found Friday afternoon on a road in central Puerto Rico.
In addition to murder, Martinez Matos was charged with three weapons violations and one count of hiding evidence, prosecutor Yaritza Carrasquillo said.
Prosecutors are weighing whether to recommend that Martinez Matos be charged under federal hate crimes law, Carrasquillo said. That decision was not expected to come Wednesday.
The U.S. gay community is asking authorities to investigate whether the slaying was a hate crime, said Pedro Julio Serrano of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.
"The brutality of the slaying and the fact that he was openly gay leads us to believe it was very possibly a hate crime," Serrano said Tuesday.
Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory, which means federal agencies have jurisdiction.
The U.S. Attorney's Office, in consultation with local officials and other agencies, would determine whether the slaying will be prosecuted as a hate crime.
"It's at a very preliminary stage," Lymarie Llovet, a spokeswoman for the U.S. attorney's office in San Juan, Puerto Rico's capital, said Tuesday. "There's the potential for a federal investigation."
Martinez Matos, 26, was arrested late Monday at his home in the Mogote de Cayey neighborhood, said Wilson Porrata Mariani, another spokesman for the Guayama police district.
Police impounded two cars and also are investigating a home in another neighborhood, Huertas del Barrio Beatriz de Cidra.
Lopez Mercado's body was found on Puerto Rico Road 184 in another part of town, Barrio Guavate de Cayey, police said.
Authorities are investigating whether the killing involved sex, Hector Agosto Rodriguez, police commander in the town of Guayama, told CNN affiliate WLII TV.
In footage aired on Telemundo-Puerto Rico, Martinez Matos was asked by a reporter if he was gay, to which he replied no, and added, "(Lopez Mercado) tried to kill me."
According to Telemundo and other local reports, Martinez Matos confessed to authorities that he picked Lopez Mercado up from the street, thinking that he was a woman.
When he realized that Lopez Mercado was a man, Martinez Matos said he regressed to an incident when he was sexually assaulted during a prison term, Telemundo and local reports said.
That's when a conflict started between the two, authorities said, leading to the teen's death.
The slaying has reverberated through the gay and lesbian community in the United States, where supporters started a Facebook page called "Justice for Jorge Steven Lopez -- End Hate Crimes." The group demands an investigation by Puerto Rico Gov. Luis Fortuno and prosecution of the case under the federal hate crime law.
The Federal Hate Crimes Law was enacted in 1969 to guard the rights of any U.S. citizen who is targeted because of race, color, religion or national origin, or because of an attempt to engage in one of six protected activities, such as voting, going to school or attending a public venue.
President Obama signed into law last month the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, which extends federal protection to illegal acts motivated by a person's actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability.
If Martinez Matos is charged under the hate crimes provision, it is believed it would be the first such case under the latest addition to the law.

My own personal owl!

This is a very frequent view from my apartment balcony. I see the pidgeons holding their guard on my neighbor's roof. He has bought an owl and they still don't respect his space. He has to clean up after them, so I understand. They used to come and deposit strange bodily fluids on top of my herbs and that was not acceptable. So I undersand the bibi gun . I had to take matters into my own hands so I had to find the best owl could find that would deliver the goods.



I went to Montreal, Canada and brought back a specimen that keeps the pidgeons away. I happen to love him, but I wonder about why the birds stay away... He he... Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my solution, my own personal owl:


Don't get any ideas neighbor, I am not sharing...

Coquito!!!!


For those of you who are not puertorican or do not know what Coquito is, let me enlighten you.
Coquito is a mixture of milk and coconut milk, rum, brandy, a pinch of salt, and a small slash of Vanilla. The marriage between the coconut and the rum is one that one has to experience. So far this recipe has won all the "eggnog" contests it has entered. Should I share with you?
***
Coquito Recipe (Hope you realize what a gift I am sharing!) HO! HO! -- I sense some trepidation in my part ... let's see if you get lucky!
Preparation:
Take half a gallon of milk and wash the container properly so as no to have any residuals of the milk.
Ingredients:
2 cans of evaporated milk
2 cans of Coco Lopez Coconut Cream (same stuff used in making Pina Coladas)
1 pinch of salt
1/2 teaspoon of Vanilla
1 shake of Cinnamon
about 1 cup white rum (my fav is Don Q Cristal)
1 tablespoon Brandi (any kind) -- is for making it smooth....
Procedure
Take all of the ingredients and pour into the half gallon milk container cover it and shake away. I then put in clean water bottles to give away.
Serve: in shot or cordial glasses -- LESS IS MORE WOULD BE APPROPRIATE HERE - This exclamation is meant to alert the weak of heart.
Or if I am going to a big party, I bring 1/2 to a gallon of same. It has always been voted as the best one. Sorry for that. It is my humble opinion that it is the best. I must give credit to my sister Chiqui for sharing the easy recipe with me.
After I stabbed myself about 6 years ago opening a coconut, I made the decision to befriend Coco Lopez and contribute to their annual revenues at the end of the year!
Make it, share it, you will be remembered.
From my kitchen to yours with all my love during this Holiday season!
Hey... if you keep posted, maybe I will share my coquito flan or caramel custard!

Pesto Dip and more...


November 25, 2009

Pesto Dip!

A few days ago I decided to have a light dinner and just enjoy my pesto with just about anything I could think of dipping into it. So I got bread sticks, bocconcini, slices of apple, grape tomatoes, celery sticks, crackers, etc. We also had some smoked salmon! I took a photo and believe me this harvest was the best ever and they always will be from now on. I have my secrets. J

So here is what I put together. Simple but such an exquisite taste. If you get to try my pesto, you will have discovered something absolutely wonderful. Not one person that I have shared this delicacy has ever come back without raving of the experience.

That makes it all worthwhile when I am cutting, picking the leaves, cleaning them and putting all my love and attention to a great end product.

Here is the photo of that wonderful night with my baby and my treat for him.

Remember the less fortunate...


Today is the eve before that famous thanksgiving event that some of us apprehensively celebrate. I will go through the motions and see if in the process I find all the wonderful things that I will be celebrating tomorrow. Obliterating the thoughts that cripple, as many of us refer to as "demons," would be a great place to start. :)

All the books that I have read over the years on self help say that one has to eradicate the negative by forgiveness and then and only then will one be able to free ones soul from the demons. I also learned that we are spiritual beings with a body attached to us. If this is so I evoke the spirit of my son to reach out and touch me and for that thought, I will be thankful tomorrow. I wonder if I will be able to eat the spread of food tomorrow. I wonder. The slight thought of him being hungry takes my hunger away. Not trying to go there as they say... but the thought crosses my mind.

Even though I have seen that America takes care of their hungry during the holidays. Don't forget the less fortunate during the holiday when we are eating. Remember. Contribute to shelters and organizations that what you feel is your trash. It will be someone else's fortune. Donate $10 in any shelter on line. It takes 5 minutes and maybe it is my son that will get a new pair of shoes for Thanksgiving as he did last year. And for that I will also be thankful. There is no way to hide from them. Thoughts of family together and not. Thoughts of who is family and who is not. Thoughts of whether or not they will see your pain and somehow feel sorry for you. No... pitty no one wants to feel from others ... learned that from my son Dustin. Wherever he may be. That is a blessing... his lessons throughout life and he is still teaching me. For that I will also be thankful. He said blessing some homeless person on the streets was signaling him out from the rest and therefore in some way looking at them in a different way as we would look at any other human being. He said, "they did not want to feel singled out from the rest of the society, mom!" He had never been homeless when he said this. Another lesson from my son about the injustice and lack of appropriate admonishment of the homeless and/or the less fortunate. For that I am also thankful.


In the midst of it all I have managed to bake banana/cranberry bread and made some coquito (puertorican eggnog). I have been cleaning the house as if Santa was really coming to town. HO! HO! HO! Will celebrate Xmas this weekend and will get a tree since my baby is going back home to celebrate the holidays with his family. For this I am also thankful -- that he can go spend time with his family. He is very fortunate. Just want to say that I am going to spell out what I envision my loved son doing this holiday. I envision him living under a roof with others that accept him and if do not love him at least do not interfere with him. He is healthy and he smiles and giggles even if out of context. I always found my son to be OK regardless of what health issues he faced. I always accepted him, even when he shaved his head and his eyebrows. He... he... It was his soul that was ok. For that I am also thankful. And with that thought, I would like to extend a warm wish to all out there and enjoy and appreciate your family, you never know when you will not have them around!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Today I have to find myself,,, and free my spirit!

My beautiful son! Just before he left this is how he looked. Funny, he had gotten the idea that his eyebrows were ugly when he was just very handsome. He was so unhappy with his medication. I hope he is happy in whatever he does. Whatever he encounters. If anyone has seen my baby in the streets of San Francisco, please let me know. I want to know he is alive and doing his thing...

Today I have to find myself… and free my spirit!

November 17, 2009

I have managed to keep my two sisters in Puerto Rico and my sisters in Washington, D.C. They love me unconditionally. That’s a nice feeling. I thank my universe for bringing them into my life.

Now I have new sisters. Its nice. I don’t reach out too much but I try sometimes. I know, I am bad that way. I just don’t call people. I don’t even call my cousin. I welcome their calls but hard to reach out and not enough hours in the day. I don’t have time to clean and relax and run around on weekends to get anything done.

Housework has become a arduous task. I need to get it into a routine or it will continue to take forever to do. I need a standard schedule. Sunday, clean kitchen after weekend to start a clear Monday, clean bathrooms from the weekend traffic; Tuesday, Maria; Thursday, wash clothes; Saturday, dust, vacuum and do the floors. Does not sound so trying. If I can do it, I will be very happy. Just have to get into a routine. Seems I have been out of it for a very long time.

Yesterday was ½ a year without hearing from my son. It hit me like a ton of bricks. There was nothing I could do to take it away. Everything I touched was a Dustin story. The thing that got me the most and made me peaceful, was to lay on the big chair that I inherited from a DC person, which was the “Dustin chair.” Most of his photos where on that chair. He would be Santa Claus (apprehensively at times) on Christmas morning on that chair. So peace came eventually. I wonder if inanimate objects hold the energy of all those that have encountered in its subsistence.

Got to get ready for work. Today is a new day. I dedicated yesterday in its entirety to my son. Today I have to find myself again and free my spirit. I claim it, Delphine! I claim it!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Facing a demon...


November 14, 2009

I was fine today and then I had to face a demon which has attached itself to me as if it had never left me. I quit smoking about 14 years ago and 2 weeks ago I was so anxious and unhappy that I took up the habit and in the process succumbed to its addiction -- as if I had never quit. As if not even one day had transpired.

Very self deprecating at this point. Not happy with myself. Why? Well, I have not been able to breathe for 4 days or so. My lungs are so congested and tight that it is giving me physical ailments. That is not right. I have had my share of ailments this year and do not have to intentionally bring one upon myself.

I am going to try not to smoke tomorrow so we will see. I will keep you informed. It is hard because my significant other smokes. But I am what some in a negative way would refer to me as “stubborn” and I choose to say “determined!” So I will use this determination and embark into a tobacco free life!
P.S.: Found this photo and it looks so discusting that I will keep it there to remind me what my lungs might be feeling...

Pasteles y Mami...

Last night my neighbor Debbie told me I could have the pasteles that I made with Mami 2 years ago. My eyes watered and I had a Hallmark moment. Tonight I made arroz con gandules (rice and pidgeon peas) and the pasteles.

In memory of Mami who helped me through the arduous process here is a picture.

Last month was mami's death anniversary and I forgot about it on the actual date. Maybe for the best... but here I am today thinking about her as I ate.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

BASIL HARVEST PARTY 11/1/09

My beautiful basil plant gave me the fruits of her nectar with such vigor. As you will note in the photos, some of the leaves were about 3 inches long! I have learned the precise moment in which to pick the leaves… when they are still in their splendor… just before the flowers arrive. Why? So they do not deter the leaves from receiving all the nutrients in full force. The flowers consume the leaves’ chlorophyll. Therefore, depleting the nutritional value of same.

My cousins came to celebrate the harvest! My baby and I went to the supermarket and bought all the things we could think we could share with the pesto, including marinating small fresh mozzarella balls, grape tomatoes, bread sticks, apples, French bread, tortellini, and home made croutons. We served all the “tapas”and the pesto on small plates and it was a smorgasbord of pesto for about 2 hours.


The next day we commented that we would not eat pesto for a while We were saturated. Because its magnificent flavor engulfed us … no need to say that we overate with delight and total enthusiasm...







My Hemingway!

The beach with the man I love proved to be an experience for me.

I felt I was 8 again in Isla Verde before there was a paved road at what now is the Pine Grove apartments’ beach. One of my sisters lives there! Sister of the heart! She stabilizes me when I feel out of control with my demons! This sister took me to the mountains of Puerto Rico where we deposited mami’s ashes. I love her. My other sister lives in “Los Pinos” also in Isla Verde. She gives me strength with a spiritual and positive approach to harsh subjects which she, her mother and I share in common.

My daddy and I used to drive to the beach every Sunday alone. My mom and my sister rarely joined us. It was a bonding daughter/father experience. I learned many camping tricks during those Sundays. He taught me the mundane use of the leaves of “uvas playeras” or beach grape leaves. It gave me some “survival instincts” that I still use to this day. I laugh about it. Yes my significant other asked me when I was the happiest in my life and I today can tell him with certainty that it was between the age of 5-10 years old.

Today I felt I was 8 again…


Back in our lovely Miami city apartment… Sat at the breakfast nook as my baby brought the perfect breakfast to a perfect morning. After I finished and he was still eating I glanced over to look at him. His windblown hair made me think of us just getting off a sailboat… it made me feel that I was sitting next to the eccentric Hemingway. It took me then to the Key West and felt myself walking on the grounds and gardens of Hemingway’s home… I realized, what a paradise he found in those waters of the Caribbean! I found mine today with My Hemingway!




Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Acceptance leads to empowering ...

When we accept and acknowledge others lives and passions, we render power to others and in turn feel it ourselves.

Go into this day empowering someone in your lives by just acknowledging something special and sharing same with them.

My 113... (11/3/09)

My eleven three...

Today I woke up to remembering those words spoken to me last night... being free to discuss our past lives without any repercussions, knowing the person next to you is your best friend. Not caring of others past lives is a limiting thought in a relationship. Limiting thoughts disrupt the flow and inhibit growth. I felt like an enlightened worm. So small for a few hours. As my sisters would say, "he was the bigger man here!" So I share my new knowledge. I wonder how many times it will take before I learn the lesson. Takes some time. It does not come with ease. But once it is learned it is there for a very long time.

I heard the sound of my sisters in DC singing this song so as to "lighten up sister!” God I miss you ladies. Why don’t you all come the second week in December and we live it up. Rent a van and drive down. 5 can drive and get here in 5-4 hour shifts. 18 hours. You can do it… Do it!

I guess the question here is? How deep is your love... how deep... by the Bee Gees
Old song:

http://bit.ly/Uk0wy

Deepak Chopra: just as a melody is created in the interval between notes, the universe is created in the interval between thoughts...

and I say, yes it is... it IS the seconds in between...

I leave you with 5 words of the day: powerful flow love illumined peace

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Where the American Indians the Victims of Genocide?

Was questioning about the American Indians and found this article interesting enough to share.

Were American Indians the Victims of Genocide?
By Guenter Lewy

Guenter Lewy, who for many years taught political science at the University of Massachusetts, has been a contributor to Commentary since 1964. His books include The Catholic Church & Nazi Germany, Religion & Revolution, America in Vietnam, and The Cause that Failed: Communism in American Political Life.

On September 21, the National Museum of the American Indian will open its doors. In an interview early this year, the museum’s founding director, W. Richard West, declared that the new institution would not shy away from such difficult subjects as the effort to eradicate American Indian culture in the 19th and 20th centuries. It is a safe bet that someone will also, inevitably, raise the issue of genocide.

The story of the encounter between European settlers and America’s native population does not make for pleasant reading. Among early accounts, perhaps the most famous is Helen Hunt Jackson’s A Century of Dishonor (1888), a doleful recitation of forced removals, killings, and callous disregard. Jackson’s book, which clearly captured some essential elements of what happened, also set a pattern of exaggeration and one-sided indictment that has persisted to this day.

Thus, according to Ward Churchill, a professor of ethnic studies at the University of Colorado, the reduction of the North American Indian population from an estimated 12 million in 1500 to barely 237,000 in 1900 represents a "vast genocide . . . , the most sustained on record." By the end of the 19th century, writes David E. Stannard, a historian at the University of Hawaii, native Americans had undergone the "worst human holocaust the world had ever witnessed, roaring across two continents non-stop for four centuries and consuming the lives of countless tens of millions of people." In the judgment of Lenore A. Stiffarm and Phil Lane, Jr., "there can be no more monumental example of sustained genocide—certainly none involving a 'race' of people as broad and complex as this—anywhere in the annals of human history."

The sweeping charge of genocide against the Indians became especially popular during the Vietnam war, when historians opposed to that conflict began drawing parallels between our actions in Southeast Asia and earlier examples of a supposedly ingrained American viciousness toward non-white peoples. The historian Richard Drinnon, referring to the troops under the command of the Indian scout Kit Carson, called them "forerunners of the Burning Fifth Marines" who set fire to Vietnamese villages, while in The American Indian: The First Victim (1972), Jay David urged contemporary readers to recall how America’s civilization had originated in "theft and murder" and "efforts toward . . . genocide."

Further accusations of genocide marked the run-up to the 1992 quincentenary of the landing of Columbus. The National Council of Churches adopted a resolution branding this event "an invasion" that resulted in the "slavery and genocide of native people." In a widely read book, The Conquest of Paradise (1990), Kirkpatrick Sale charged the English and their American successors with pursuing a policy of extermination that had continued unabated for four centuries. Later works have followed suit. In the 1999 Encyclopedia of Genocide, edited by the scholar Israel Charny, an article by Ward Churchill argues that extermination was the "express objective" of the U.S. government. To the Cambodia expert Ben Kiernan, similarly, genocide is the "only appropriate way" to describe how white settlers treated the Indians. And so forth.
That American Indians suffered horribly is indisputable. But whether their suffering amounted to a "holocaust," or to genocide, is another matter.


II

It is a firmly established fact that a mere 250,000 native Americans were still alive in the territory of the United States at the end of the 19th century. Still in scholarly contention, however, is the number of Indians alive at the time of first contact with Europeans. Some students of the subject speak of an inflated "numbers game"; others charge that the size of the aboriginal population has been deliberately minimized in order to make the decline seem less severe than it was.

The disparity in estimates is enormous. In 1928, the ethnologist James Mooney proposed a total count of 1,152,950 Indians in all tribal areas north of Mexico at the time of the European arrival. By 1987, in American Indian Holocaust and Survival, Russell Thornton was giving a figure of well over 5 million, nearly five times as high as Mooney’s, while Lenore Stiffarm and Phil Lane, Jr. suggested a total of 12 million. That figure rested in turn on the work of the anthropologist Henry Dobyns, who in 1983 had estimated the aboriginal population of North America as a whole at 18 million and of the present territory of the United States at about 10 million.

From one perspective, these differences, however startling, may seem beside the point: there is ample evidence, after all, that the arrival of the white man triggered a drastic reduction in the number of native Americans. Nevertheless, even if the higher figures are credited, they alone do not prove the occurrence of genocide.

To address this issue properly we must begin with the most important reason for the Indians’ catastrophic decline—namely, the spread of highly contagious diseases to which they had no immunity. This phenomenon is known by scholars as a "virgin-soil epidemic"; in North America, it was the norm.

The most lethal of the pathogens introduced by the Europeans was smallpox, which sometimes incapacitated so many adults at once that deaths from hunger and starvation ran as high as deaths from disease; in several cases, entire tribes were rendered extinct. Other killers included measles, influenza, whooping cough, diphtheria, typhus, bubonic plague, cholera, and scarlet fever. Although syphilis was apparently native to parts of the Western hemisphere, it, too, was probably introduced into North America by Europeans.

About all this there is no essential disagreement. The most hideous enemy of native Americans was not the white man and his weaponry, concludes Alfred Crosby, "but the invisible killers which those men brought in their blood and breath." It is thought that between 75 to 90 percent of all Indian deaths resulted from these killers.

To some, however, this is enough in itself to warrant the term genocide. David Stannard, for instance, states that just as Jews who died of disease and starvation in the ghettos are counted among the victims of the Holocaust, Indians who died of introduced diseases "were as much the victims of the Euro-American genocidal war as were those burned or stabbed or hacked or shot to death, or devoured by hungry dogs." As an example of actual genocidal conditions, Stannard points to Franciscan missions in California as "furnaces of death."

But right away we are in highly debatable territory. It is true that the cramped quarters of the missions, with their poor ventilation and bad sanitation, encouraged the spread of disease. But it is demonstrably untrue that, like the Nazis, the missionaries were unconcerned with the welfare of their native converts. No matter how difficult the conditions under which the Indians labored—obligatory work, often inadequate food and medical care, corporal punishment—their experience bore no comparison with the fate of the Jews in the ghettos. The missionaries had a poor understanding of the causes of the diseases that afflicted their charges, and medically there was little they could do for them. By contrast, the Nazis knew exactly what was happening in the ghettos, and quite deliberately deprived the inmates of both food and medicine; unlike in Stannard’s "furnaces of death," the deaths that occurred there were meant to occur.

The larger picture also does not conform to Stannard’s idea of disease as an expression of "genocidal war." True, the forced relocations of Indian tribes were often accompanied by great hardship and harsh treatment; the removal of the Cherokee from their homelands to territories west of the Mississippi in 1838 took the lives of thousands and has entered history as the Trail of Tears. But the largest loss of life occurred well before this time, and sometimes after only minimal contact with European traders. True, too, some colonists later welcomed the high mortality among Indians, seeing it as a sign of divine providence; that, however, does not alter the basic fact that Europeans did not come to the New World in order to infect the natives with deadly diseases.

Or did they? Ward Churchill, taking the argument a step further than Stannard, asserts that there was nothing unwitting or unintentional about the way the great bulk of North America’s native population disappeared: "it was precisely malice, not nature, that did the deed." In brief, the Europeans were engaged in biological warfare.

Unfortunately for this thesis, we know of but a single instance of such warfare, and the documentary evidence is inconclusive. In 1763, a particularly serious uprising threatened the British garrisons west of the Allegheny mountains. Worried about his limited resources, and disgusted by what he saw as the Indians’ treacherous and savage modes of warfare, Sir Jeffrey Amherst, commander-in-chief of British forces in North America, wrote as follows to Colonel Henry Bouquet at Fort Pitt: "You will do well to try to inoculate the Indians [with smallpox] by means of blankets, as well as to try every other method, that can serve to extirpate this execrable race."

Bouquet clearly approved of Amherst's suggestion, but whether he himself carried it out is uncertain. On or around June 24, two traders at Fort Pitt did give blankets and a handkerchief from the fort’s quarantined hospital to two visiting Delaware Indians, and one of the traders noted in his journal: "I hope it will have the desired effect." Smallpox was already present among the tribes of Ohio; at some point after this episode, there was another outbreak in which hundreds died.

A second, even less substantiated instance of alleged biological warfare concerns an incident that occurred on June 20, 1837. On that day, Churchill writes, the U.S. Army began to dispense "'trade blankets' to Mandans and other Indians gathered at Fort Clark on the Missouri River in present-day North Dakota." He continues: Far from being trade goods, the blankets had been taken from a military infirmary in St. Louis quarantined for smallpox, and brought upriver aboard the steamboat St. Peter’s. When the first Indians showed symptoms of the disease on July 14, the post surgeon advised those camped near the post to scatter and seek "sanctuary" in the villages of healthy relatives.

In this way the disease was spread, the Mandans were "virtually exterminated," and other tribes suffered similarly devastating losses. Citing a figure of "100,000 or more fatalities" caused by the U.S. Army in the 1836-40 smallpox pandemic (elsewhere he speaks of a toll "several times that number"), Churchill refers the reader to Thornton’s American Indian Holocaust and Survival.

Supporting Churchill here are Stiffarm and Lane, who write that "the distribution of smallpox- infected blankets by the U.S. Army to Mandans at Fort Clark . . . was the causative factor in the pandemic of 1836-40." In evidence, they cite the journal of a contemporary at Fort Clark, Francis A. Chardon.

But Chardon's journal manifestly does not suggest that the U.S. Army distributed infected blankets, instead blaming the epidemic on the inadvertent spread of disease by a ship's passenger. And as for the "100,000 fatalities," not only does Thornton fail to allege such obviously absurd numbers, but he too points to infected passengers on the steamboat St. Peter's as the cause. Another scholar, drawing on newly discovered source material, has also refuted the idea of a conspiracy to harm the Indians.

Similarly at odds with any such idea is the effort of the United States government at this time to vaccinate the native population. Smallpox vaccination, a procedure developed by the English country doctor Edward Jenner in 1796, was first ordered in 1801 by President Jefferson; the program continued in force for three decades, though its implementation was slowed both by the resistance of the Indians, who suspected a trick, and by lack of interest on the part of some officials. Still, as Thornton writes: "Vaccination of American Indians did eventually succeed in reducing mortality from smallpox."

To sum up, European settlers came to the New World for a variety of reasons, but the thought of infecting the Indians with deadly pathogens was not one of them. As for the charge that the U.S. government should itself be held responsible for the demographic disaster that overtook the American-Indian population, it is unsupported by evidence or legitimate argument. The United States did not wage biological warfare against the Indians; neither can the large number of deaths as a result of disease be considered the result of a genocidal design.

III

Still, even if up to 90 percent of the reduction in Indian population was the result of disease, that leaves a sizable death toll caused by mistreatment and violence. Should some or all of these deaths be considered instances of genocide?

We may examine representative incidents by following the geographic route of European settlement, beginning in the New England colonies. There, at first, the Puritans did not regard the Indians they encountered as natural enemies, but rather as potential friends and converts. But their Christianizing efforts showed little success, and their experience with the natives gradually yielded a more hostile view. The Pequot tribe in particular, with its reputation for cruelty and ruthlessness, was feared not only by the colonists but by most other Indians in New England. In the warfare that eventually ensued, caused in part by intertribal rivalries, the Narragansett Indians became actively engaged on the Puritan side.

Hostilities opened in late 1636 after the murder of several colonists. When the Pequots refused to comply with the demands of the Massachusetts Bay Colony for the surrender of the guilty and other forms of indemnification, a punitive expedition was led against them by John Endecott, the first resident governor of the colony; although it ended inconclusively, the Pequots retaliated by attacking any settler they could find. Fort Saybrook on the Connecticut River was besieged, and members of the garrison who ventured outside were ambushed and killed. One captured trader, tied to a stake in sight of the fort, was tortured for three days, expiring after his captors flayed his skin with the help of hot timbers and cut off his fingers and toes. Another prisoner was roasted alive.

The torture of prisoners was indeed routine practice for most Indian tribes, and was deeply ingrained in Indian culture. Valuing bravery above all things, the Indians had little sympathy for those who surrendered or were captured. Prisoners. unable to withstand the rigor of wilderness travel were usually killed on the spot. Among those—Indian or European—taken back to the village, some would be adopted to replace slain warriors, the rest subjected to a ritual of torture designed to humiliate them and exact atonement for the tribe's losses. Afterward the Indians often consumed the body or parts of it in a ceremonial meal, and proudly displayed scalps and fingers as trophies of victory.

Despite the colonists' own resort to torture in order to extract confessions, the cruelty of these practices strengthened the belief that the natives were savages who deserved no quarter. This revulsion accounts at least in part for the ferocity of the battle of Fort Mystic in May 1637, when a force commanded by John Mason and assisted by militiamen from Saybrook surprised about half of the Pequot tribe encamped near the Mystic River.

The intention of the colonists had been to kill the warriors "with their Swords," as Mason put it, to plunder the village, and to capture the women and children. But the plan did not work out. About 150 Pequot warriors had arrived in the fort the night before, and when the surprise attack began they emerged from their tents to fight. Fearing the Indians' numerical strength, the English attackers set fire to the fortified village and retreated outside the palisades. There they formed a circle and shot down anyone seeking to escape; a second cordon of Narragansett Indians cut down the few who managed to get through the English line. When the battle was over, the Pequots had suffered several hundred dead, perhaps as many as 300 of these being women and children. Twenty Narragansett warriors also fell.

A number of recent historians have charged the Puritans with genocide: that is, with having carried out a premeditated plan to exterminate the Pequots. The evidence belies this. The use of fire as a weapon of war was not unusual for either Europeans or Indians, and every contemporary account stresses that the burning of the fort was an act of self-protection, not part of a pre-planned massacre. In later stages of the Pequot war, moreover, the colonists spared women, children, and the elderly, further contradicting the idea of genocidal intention.

A second famous example from the colonial period is King Philip’s War (1675-76). This conflict, proportionately the costliest of all American wars, took the life of one in every sixteen men of military age in the colonies; large numbers of women and children also perished or were carried into captivity. Fifty-two of New England’s 90 towns were attacked, seventeen were razed to the ground, and 25 were pillaged. Casualties among the Indians were even higher, with many of those captured being executed or sold into slavery abroad.

The war was also merciless, on both sides. At its outset, a colonial council in Boston had declared "that none be Killed or Wounded that are Willing to surrender themselves into Custody." But these rules were soon abandoned on the grounds that the Indians themselves, failing to adhere either to the laws of war or to the law of nature, would "skulk" behind trees, rocks, and bushes rather than appear openly to do "civilized" battle. Similarly creating a desire for retribution were the cruelties perpetrated by Indians when ambushing English troops or overrunning strongholds housing women and children.

Before long, both colonists and Indians were dismembering corpses and displaying body parts and heads on poles. (Nevertheless, Indians could not be killed with impunity. In the summer of 1676, four men were tried in Boston for the brutal murder of three squaws and three Indian children; all were found guilty and two were executed.)

The hatred kindled by King Philip’s War became even more pronounced in 1689 when strong Indian tribes allied themselves with the French against the British. In 1694, the General Court of Massachusetts ordered all friendly Indians confined to a small area. A bounty was then offered for the killing or capture of hostile Indians, and scalps were accepted as proof of a kill. In 1704, this was amended in the direction of "Christian practice" by means of a scale of rewards graduated by age and sex; bounty was proscribed in the case of children under the age of ten, subsequently raised to twelve (sixteen in Connecticut, fifteen in New Jersey). Here, too, genocidal intent was far from evident; the practices were justified on grounds of self-preservation and revenge, and in reprisal for the extensive scalping carried out by Indians.

IV

We turn now to the American frontier. In Pennsylvania, where the white population had doubled between 1740 and 1760, the pressure on Indian lands increased formidably; in 1754, encouraged by French agents, Indian warriors struck, starting a long and bloody conflict known as the French and Indian War or the Seven Years' War. By 1763, according to one estimate, about 2,000 whites had been killed or vanished into captivity. Stories of real, exaggerated, and imaginary atrocities spread by word of mouth, in narratives of imprisonment, and by means of provincial newspapers. Some British officers gave orders that captured Indians be given no quarter, and even after the end of formal hostilities, feelings continued to run so high that murderers of Indians, like the infamous Paxton Boys, were applauded rather than arrested.

As the United States expanded westward, such conflicts multiplied. So far had things progressed by 1784 that, according to one British traveler, "white Americans have the most rancorous antipathy to the whole race of Indians; and nothing is more common than to hear them talk of extirpating them totally from the face of the earth, men, women, and children."

Settlers on the expanding frontier treated the Indians with contempt, often robbing and killing them at will. In 1782, a militia pursuing an Indian war party that had slain a woman and a child massacred more than 90 peaceful Moravian Delawares. Although federal and state officials tried to bring such killers to justice, their efforts, writes the historian Francis Prucha, "were no match for the singular Indian-hating mentality of the frontiersmen, upon whom depended conviction in the local courts."

But that, too, is only part of the story. The view that the Indian problem could be solved by force alone came under vigorous challenge from a number of federal commissioners who from 1832 on headed the Bureau of Indian Affairs and supervised the network of agents and subagents in the field. Many Americans on the eastern seaboard, too, openly criticized the rough ways of the frontier. Pity for the vanishing Indian, together with a sense of remorse, led to a revival of the 18th-century concept of the noble savage. America's native inhabitants were romanticized in historiography, art, and literature, notably by James Fenimore Cooper in his Leatherstocking Tales and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in his long poem, The Song of Hiawatha.

On the western frontier itself, such views were of course dismissed as rank sentimentality; the perceived nobility of the savages, observed cynics, was directly proportional to one’s geographic distance from them. Instead, settlers vigorously complained that the regular army was failing to meet the Indian threat more aggressively. A large-scale uprising of the Sioux in Minnesota in 1862, in which Indian war parties killed, raped, and pillaged all over the countryside, left in its wake a climate of fear and anger that spread over the entire West.

Colorado was especially tense. Cheyenne and Arapahoe Indians, who had legitimate grievances against the encroaching white settlers, also fought for the sheer joy of combat, the desire for booty, and the prestige that accrued from success. The overland route to the East was particularly vulnerable: at one point in 1864, Denver was cut off from all supplies, and there were several butcheries of entire families at outlying ranches. In one gruesome case, all of the victims were scalped, the throats of the two children were cut, and the mother’s body was ripped open and her entrails pulled over her face.

Writing in September 1864, the Reverend William Crawford reported on the attitude of the white population of Colorado: “There is but one sentiment in regard to the final disposition which shall be made of the Indians: ‘Let them be exterminated—men, women, and children together.’” Of course, he added, "I do not myself share in such views." The Rocky Mountain News, which at first had distinguished between friendly and hostile Indians, likewise began to advocate extermination of this “dissolute, vagabondish, brutal, and ungrateful race.” With the regular army off fighting the Civil War in the South, the western settlers depended for their protection on volunteer regiments, many lamentably deficient in discipline. It was a local force of such volunteers that committed the massacre of Sand Creek, Colorado on November 29, 1864. Formed in August, the regiment was made up of miners down on their luck, cowpokes tired of ranching, and others itching for battle. Its commander, the Reverend John Milton Chivington, a politician and ardent Indian-hater, had urged war without mercy, even against children. "Nits make lice," he was fond of saying. The ensuing orgy of violence in the course of a surprise attack on a large Indian encampment left between 70 and 250 Indians dead, the majority women and children. The regiment suffered eight killed and 40 wounded.

News of the Sand Creek massacre sparked an outcry in the East and led to several congressional inquiries. Although some of the investigators appear to have been biased against Chivington, there was no disputing that he had issued orders not to give quarter, or that his soldiers had engaged in massive scalping and other mutilations.

The sorry tale continues in California. The area that in 1850 became admitted to the Union as the 31st state had once held an Indian population estimated at anywhere between 150,000 and 250,000. By the end of the 19th century, the number had dropped to 15,000. As elsewhere, disease was the single most important factor, although the state also witnessed an unusually large number of deliberate killings.

The discovery of gold in 1848 brought about a fundamental change in Indian-white relations. Whereas formerly Mexican ranchers had both exploited the Indians and provided them with a minimum of protection, the new immigrants, mostly young single males, exhibited animosity from the start, trespassing on Indian lands and often freely killing any who were in their way. An American officer wrote to his sister in 1860: "There never was a viler sort of men in the world than is congregated about these mines."

What was true of miners was often true as well of newly arrived farmers. By the early 1850's, whites in California outnumbered Indians by about two to one, and the lot of the natives, gradually forced into the least fertile parts of the territory, began to deteriorate rapidly. Many succumbed to starvation; others, desperate for food, went on the attack, stealing and killing livestock. Indian women who prostituted themselves to feed their families contributed to the demographic decline by removing themselves from the reproductive cycle. As a solution to the growing problem, the federal government sought to confine the Indians to reservations, but this was opposed both by the Indians themselves and by white ranchers fearing the loss of labor. Meanwhile, clashes multiplied.

One of the most violent, between white settlers and Yuki Indians in the Round Valley of Mendocino County, lasted for several years and was waged with great ferocity. Although Governor John B. Weller cautioned against an indiscriminate campaign—"[Y]our operations against the Indians," he wrote to the commander of a volunteer force in 1859, "must be confined strictly to those who are known to have been engaged in killing the stock and destroying the property of our citizens . . . and the women and children under all circumstances must be spared"—his words had little effect. By 1864 the number of Yukis had declined from about 5,000 to 300.

The Humboldt Bay region, just northwest of the Round Valley, was the scene of still more collisions. Here too Indians stole and killed cattle, and militia companies retaliated. A secret league, formed in the town of Eureka, perpetrated a particularly hideous massacre in February 1860, surprising Indians sleeping in their houses and killing about sixty, mostly by hatchet. During the same morning hours, whites attacked two other Indian rancherias, with the same deadly results. In all, nearly 300 Indians were killed on one day, at least half of them women and children.

Once again there was outrage and remorse. "The white settlers," wrote a historian only 20 years later, "had received great provocation. . . . But nothing they had suffered, no depredations the savages had committed, could justify the cruel slaughter of innocent women and children.” This had also been the opinion of a majority of the people of Eureka, where a grand jury condemned the massacre, while in cities like San Francisco all such killings repeatedly drew strong criticism. But atrocities continued: by the 1870's, as one historian has summarized the situation in California, "only remnants of the aboriginal populations were still alive, and those who had survived the maelstrom of the preceding quarter-century were dislocated, demoralized, and impoverished."

Lastly we come to the wars on the Great Plains. Following the end of the Civil War, large waves of white migrants, arriving simultaneously from East and West, squeezed the Plains Indians between them. In response, the Indians attacked vulnerable white outposts; their "acts of devilish cruelty," reported one officer on the scene, had "no parallel in savage warfare." The trails west were in similar peril: in December 1866, an army detachment of 80 men was lured into an ambush on the Bozeman Trail, and all of the soldiers were killed.

To force the natives into submission, Generals Sherman and Sheridan, who for two decades after the Civil War commanded the Indian-fighting army units on the Plains, applied the same strategy they had used so successfully in their marches across Georgia and in the Shenandoah Valley. Unable to defeat the Indians on the open prairie, they pursued them to their winter camps, where numbing cold and heavy snows limited their mobility. There they destroyed the lodges and stores of food, a tactic that inevitably resulted in the deaths of women and children.
Genocide? These actions were almost certainly in conformity with the laws of war accepted at the time. The principles of limited war and of noncombatant immunity had been codified in Francis Lieber's General Order No. 100, issued for the Union Army on April 24, 1863. But the villages of warring Indians who refused to surrender were considered legitimate military objectives. In any event, there was never any order to exterminate the Plains Indians, despite heated pronouncements on the subject by the outraged Sherman and despite Sheridan's famous quip that "the only good Indians I ever saw were dead." Although Sheridan did not mean that all Indians should be shot on sight, but rather that none of the warring Indians on the Plains could be trusted, his words, as the historian James Axtell rightly suggests, did "more to harm straight thinking about Indian-white relations than any number of Sand Creeks or Wounded Knees."

As for that last-named encounter, it took place on December 29, 1890 on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. By this time, the 7th Regiment of U.S. Cavalry had compiled a reputation for aggressiveness, particularly in the wake of its surprise assault in 1868 on a Cheyenne village on the Washita river in Kansas, where about 100 Indians were killed by General George Custer's men.

Still, the battle of Washita, although one-sided, had not been a massacre: wounded warriors were given first aid, and 53 women and children who had hidden in their lodges survived the assault and were taken prisoner. Nor were the Cheyennes unarmed innocents; as their chief Black Kettle acknowledged, they had been conducting regular raids into Kansas that he was powerless to stop.
The encounter at Wounded Knee, 22 years later, must be seen in the context of the Ghost Dance religion, a messianic movement that since 1889 had caused great excitement among Indians in the area and that was interpreted by whites as a general call to war. While an encampment of Sioux was being searched for arms, a few young men created an incident; the soldiers, furious at what they considered an act of Indian treachery, fought back furiously as guns surrounding the encampment opened fire with deadly effect. The Army's casualties were 25 killed and 39 wounded, mostly as a result of friendly fire. More than 300 Indians died.

Wounded Knee has been called "perhaps the best-known genocide of North American Indians." But, as Robert Utley has concluded in a careful analysis, it is better described as "a regrettable, tragic accident of war," a bloodbath that neither side intended. In a situation where women and children were mixed with men, it was inevitable that some of the former would be killed. But several groups of women and children were in fact allowed out of the encampment, and wounded Indian warriors, too, were spared and taken to a hospital. There may have been a few deliberate killings of noncombatants, but on the whole, as a court of inquiry ordered by President Harrison established, the officers and soldiers of the unit made supreme efforts to avoid killing women and children.

On January 15, 1891, the last Sioux warriors surrendered. Apart from isolated clashes, America’s Indian wars had ended.

V

The Genocide Convention was approved by the General Assembly of the United Nations on December 9, 1948 and came into force on January 12, 1951; after a long delay, it was ratified by the United States in 1986. Since genocide is now a technical term in international criminal law, the definition established by the convention has assumed prima-facie authority, and it is with this definition that we should begin in assessing the applicability of the concept of genocide to the events we have been considering.

According to Article II of the convention, the crime of genocide consists of a series of acts "committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial, or religious group as such" (emphases added). Practically all legal scholars accept the centrality of this clause. During the deliberations over the convention, some argued for a clear specification of the reasons, or motives, for the destruction of a group. In the end, instead of a list of such motives, the issue was resolved by adding the words "as such"—i.e., the motive or reason for the destruction must be the ending of the group as a national, ethnic, racial, or religious entity. Evidence of such a motive, as one legal scholar put it, "will constitute an integral part of the proof of a genocidal plan, and therefore of genocidal intent."

The crucial role played by intentionality in the Genocide Convention means that under its terms the huge number of Indian deaths from epidemics cannot be considered genocide. The lethal diseases were introduced inadvertently, and the Europeans cannot be blamed for their ignorance of what medical science would discover only centuries later. Similarly, military engagements that led to the death of noncombatants, like the battle of the Washita, cannot be seen as genocidal acts, for the loss of innocent life was not intended and the soldiers did not aim at the destruction of the Indians as a defined group. By contrast, some of the massacres in California, where both the perpetrators and their supporters openly acknowledged a desire to destroy the Indians as an ethnic entity, might indeed be regarded under the terms of the convention as exhibiting genocidal intent.

Even as it outlaws the destruction of a group "in whole or in part," the convention does not address the question of what percentage of a group must be affected in order to qualify as genocide. As a benchmark, the prosecutor of the International Criminal Tribunal for the Former Yugoslavia has suggested "a reasonably significant number, relative to the total of the group as a whole," adding that the actual or attempted destruction should also relate to "the factual opportunity of the accused to destroy a group in a specific geographic area within the sphere of his control, and not in relation to the entire population of the group in a wider geographic sense." If this principle were adopted, an atrocity like the Sand Creek massacre, limited to one group in a specific single locality, might also be considered an act of genocide.

Of course, it is far from easy to apply a legal concept developed in the middle of the 20th century to events taking place many decades if not hundreds of years earlier. Our knowledge of many of these occurrences is incomplete. Moreover, the malefactors, long since dead, cannot be tried in a court of law, where it would be possible to establish crucial factual details and to clarify relevant legal principles.

Applying today’s standards to events of the past raises still other questions, legal and moral alike. While history has no statute of limitations, our legal system rejects the idea of retroactivity (ex post facto laws). Morally, even if we accept the idea of universal principles transcending particular cultures and periods, we must exercise caution in condemning, say, the conduct of war during America’s colonial period, which for the most part conformed to thenprevailing notions of right and wrong. To understand all is hardly to forgive all, but historical judgment, as the scholar Gordon Leff has correctly stressed, "must always be contextual: it is no more reprehensible for an age to have lacked our values than to have lacked forks."

The real task, then, is to ascertain the context of a specific situation and the options it presented. Given circumstances, and the moral standards of the day, did the people on whose conduct we are sitting in judgment have a choice to act differently? Such an approach would lead us to greater indulgence toward the Puritans of New England, who fought for their survival, than toward the miners and volunteer militias of California who often slaughtered Indian men, women, and children for no other reason than to satisfy their appetite for gold and land. The former, in addition, battled their Indian adversaries in an age that had little concern for humane standards of warfare, while the latter committed their atrocities in the face of vehement denunciation not only by self-styled humanitarians in the faraway East but by many of their fellow citizens in California.

Finally, even if some episodes can be considered genocidal—that is, tending toward genocide—they certainly do not justify condemning an entire society. Guilt is personal, and for good reason the Genocide Convention provides that only "persons" can be charged with the crime, probably even ruling out legal proceedings against governments. No less significant is that a massacre like Sand Creek was undertaken by a local volunteer militia and was not the expression of official U.S. policy. No regular U.S. Army unit was ever implicated in a similar atrocity. In the majority of actions, concludes Robert Utley, "the Army shot noncombatants incidentally and accidentally, not purposefully." As for the larger society, even if some elements in the white population, mainly in the West, at times advocated extermination, no official of the U.S. government ever seriously proposed it. Genocide was never American policy, nor was it the result of policy.

The violent collision between whites and America's native population was probably unavoidable. Between 1600 and 1850, a dramatic surge in population led to massive waves of emigration from Europe, and many of the millions who arrived in the New World gradually pushed westward into America's seemingly unlimited space. No doubt, the 19th-century idea of America’s "manifest destiny" was in part a rationalization for acquisitiveness, but the resulting dispossession of the Indians was as unstoppable as other great population movements of the past. The U.S. government could not have prevented the westward movement even if it had wanted to.

In the end, the sad fate of America's Indians represents not a crime but a tragedy, involving an irreconcilable collision of cultures and values. Despite the efforts of well-meaning people in both camps, there existed no good solution to this clash. The Indians were not prepared to give up the nomadic life of the hunter for the sedentary life of the farmer. The new Americans, convinced of their cultural and racial superiority, were unwilling to grant the original inhabitants of the continent the vast preserve of land required by the Indians’ way of life. The consequence was a conflict in which there were few heroes, but which was far from a simple tale of hapless victims and merciless aggressors. To fling the charge of genocide at an entire society serves neither the interests of the Indians nor those of history.

This article was first published by Commentary and is reprinted with permission

Followers