So as I ponder as to what name to use, I realize that I don't want to use none but my own. I then thought that I should just come and write here in my blogpage in response to there. Wouldn't that be nice? I can then say and do whatever I want. I would just have to have a link. Oooh no, don't think a link to my mind would be good for that website! lol
Nothing makes sense as far as the rest of the world is concerned, but I know what to do, and I will. Here noone dictates my writing, my moods, my anything. That concept makes me smile. Nice liberating sensation... wow. Needed this.
This is my blog and this is where it is really happening for me. So here I am. Now I have to package this baby to get it rolling.
So tell me what it is that you want today. This is what I want:
- I want to be able to say and do whatever I want and not be taken adversely or criticized. [friend said that this is if I wanted to live in a world by myself]
- I want to be able to express myself without feeling inadequate at other's interpretation or response to my feelings.
- I want to be able to feel free to come, go, stay, leave, whenever for whatever reason and that it is ok and not questioned and that my reason is my reason and it does not have to make sense to anyone. [friend said that this is ok if I wanted to live in a world by myself]
- I want to be able to be happy, sad, concerned, angry, disgrunted, pist, peaceful or whatever emotion one has and not be labeled or judged for feeling it too many days in a row or for a period of time not quite acceptable for the person doing the judging.
- I want to be able to just be and know that out there there is someone that sees me just the way I am and they don't want to change a thing about me, because they love me, and gently work together to resolve the personal baggage we both carry.
- I want this person to accept me and not judge me.
- I want the monster in my chest to go completely.
- I want to just be who I am and it will be ok.
Is it possible? What do you think?
Deborah,
ReplyDeleteYour list of wants do not seem well suited for one who would wish happy and harmony in her life. To believe, for example, that you should be able to say or do whatever you want and never be criticized is a naive and dangerous sentiment. It is suitable only for one who would wish to live her life in isolation.
In a world of relationships, words do have meaning as they always have and always will. Perhaps in a cold and sterile robotic world, your wish to be fully independent in what you say and do would work. In a world where people cry and laugh and feel, where emotion is a large part of who we are...well, in that type of world, words and deeds to carry weight.
I hope that your words in this post are more a reflection of your temporary emotional state than a true reflection of the person you are. I hope this...for you and for every person in your world who cares for you.