It is July 19, 2009 and I wrote this within the last month.
I feel vulnerable today and petrified. After my mother passed away and my son left home I had not realized how much this had affected me personally. I do have family in Miami and have hidden away from them and anyone I can get close to, anyone with the exception of the new person in my life. Maybe this creates an extra burden on him trying to listen to all my challenges. I don’t know.
Will I be a good partner to this person that has made an impact in my life?
Will I learn to be a good partner or will he get tired of me?
Will we learn from each other or is it going to be a one way street?
Afraid not to measure up to so many people, his family. So many people inquiring about you… so many people caring… for some reason it does not feel comforting. Why? Because I do not have the same background. Don't get me wrong I welcome this family into my life, but will I? I have issues getting close to my own!
I just have to trust my universe and my loved one and in so doing reach the level of intimacy that I so desire! :)
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